Dear, Santa: What every NRL coach is putting at top of their Christmas wishlist

    For many of us, it’s probably the latest iPhone, a gift voucher to our favourite shop, or a brand-new jersey from our beloved team that we are hoping to unwrap on December 25.

    But the wish list from the NRL coaches looks very different.

    Here’s what we think they will be hoping to find under their tree on Christmas morning.

    Brisbane Broncos

    Kevin Walters wants a constantly fit and healthy Adam Reynolds

    He left Redfern and headed up to Brisbane to be their saviour, but unfortunately for Walters, his star recruit spent most of the season a bit banged up. Reynolds then had an ankle injury scare at training last week.

    After their swift fall from grace at the end of the season, Walters will want Reynolds fighting fit to hopefully make the finals in 2023.

    Canberra Raiders

    Ricky Stuart wants a press conference proxy

    Leading the charge for being the most fined coach ever in the NRL, Stuart added another $25,000 to the kitty this year after his ‘weak-gutted-dog’ outburst at Jaeman Salmon this year, taking his total to $160,000.

    Stuart will be hoping to find someone under his tree that can sit in on the post-match interviews and stop him from putting his foot in it – and losing all of his money.

    (Photo by Mark Nolan/Getty Images)

    Canterbury Bulldogs

    Cameron Ciraldo wants the Penrith playbook

    He would have memorised as much as he could, but there is no doubt he would have been patted down on his last day at the club to make sure he wasn’t taking away any secrets with him.

    With many believing he is the real genius behind Ivan Cleary, he probably came up with most of the plays. It’s only fair, right?

    Cronulla Sharks

    Craig Fitzgibbon wants to win a finals game

    Finishing second in the regular season means nothing when you bundle out of the finals in straight sets.

    Of course, a grand final win is on everyone’s wish list, but Fitzy will be happy for progression in the final – maybe even a week off – rather than duck eggs.

    Sharks coach Craig Fitzgibbon. (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)

    Gold Coast Titans

    Justin Holbrook wants a David Fifita 2.0

    We all fell in love with young Fifita and his unbelievable talent. But much like modern technology, not long after you have had a few goes of it, it starts to show signs of being outdated.

    A newer version with all the old good stuff along with some cool new assets – maybe even a longer battery life – would make Holbrook very happy.

    Manly Sea Eagles

    Anthony Seibold wants unlimited spare parts for a ’96 model Turbo

    He currently owns a 1996 model flyer, in pretty good condition, been in a few prangs but still has plenty of miles left in the tank.

    With this goody-bag, it doesn’t matter if it does a hammy, hurts a shoulder or breaks a fingernail, everything Seibold needs to keep his star fullback out on the field is in it.

    Scans confirm a grade 2 hamstring strain (partial tear) for Tom Trbojevic. Manly expect a 6-8 week recovery, which is the usual timeframe. Provided no rehab setbacks will be fit for Round 1, but recurrence risk the main concern heading into the season

    — NRL PHYSIO (@nrlphysio) December 15, 2022

    Melbourne Storm

    Craig Bellamy wants ear plugs

    So he doesn’t have to listen to people asking when he will retire.

    Bellamy beats to his own drum. Always has, always will. He will tell us when he is ready. If that day ever comes!

    Newcastle Knights

    Adam O’Brien wants the darkest tint possible for the coach’s box window

    AOB spent most of the games hitting chairs, knocking over water bottles or walking behind the sponsor banners so he could have a meltdown off-camera.

    With his new tint, he can go off his tree whenever the Knights stuff up, or Kalyn Ponga gets taken off with a knock, without leaving his seat.

    One thing you can’t accuse Adam O’Brien of is not caring about the result.#NRL #NRLManlyKnights

    — Aaron Eugol (@ajl247) July 17, 2022

    New Zealand Warriors

    Andrew Webster wants a reset button

    The Warriors have not had much success over the last decade, they have lost some big names and have had a very tough few seasons thanks to Covid.

    New coach Webster knew what he was getting himself into when he signed on with the club, but if the losses start to stack up and the season begins to unravel, he can push the reset button as many times as he wants until they get it right.

    North Queensland Cowboys

    Todd Payten wants Jeremiah Nanai’s signature

    The Cowboys have locked down most of their stars, but Dally M Rookie and Second Rower of the Year is still off contract and un-signed.

    Securing Nanai long-term will make Payten feel like all of his Christmases have come at once.

    Jeremiah Nanai scores. (Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)

    Parramatta Eels

    Brad Arthur wants a pressure release valve. Do they sell them at Bunnings?

    Eels are failing? BA is out the door. Eels make it to the grand final? They didn’t win so he is still out the door.

    Whatever he does, it’s never good enough. He just wants a season where he is not on any of those ‘Coaches under Pressure’ lists so he can focus on going one better in 2023.

    Penrith Panthers

    Ivan Cleary wants a social media monitor for the players

    The back-to-back premiers don’t need anything to help them on the field. But from Nathan Cleary’s Tik-Tok debacle, the numerous Instagram posts that have landed Jarome Luai in hot water, along with Brain To’o for some unknown reason thinking that live streaming his wedding on YouTube for all of us to witness Luai’s best man speech was a good idea, these boys definitely need someone to take control of their internet usage.

    I fkn cant wtffff????????

    — ???????????????????????????????????? (@saykneez) December 8, 2022

    South Sydney Rabbitohs

    Jason Demetriou wants a premiership trophy as a head coach

    He was part of the 2015 North Queensland Cowboys grand final celebrations as an assistant coach, but Demetriou would love nothing more to be there at the end, smiling and waving to the Souths fans after bringing home the goods as the boss.

    He was close this season, falling just one game shy, but he will be wanting to go all the way in 2023.

    St George Illawarra

    Anthony Griffin wants a no-drama magic wand

    There is constantly a black cloud hovering over the Red V.

    Players against the coach. Teammates having a fight. An ex-player sharing his personal drams with the club all over social media. No one turning up to the end-of-year awards.

    Griffin would just like a fuss-free year so he can just focus on his mediocre football side.

    (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)

    Sydney Roosters

    Trent Robinson wants the best Cheese money can buy

    There has been a lot of talk surrounding Brandon Smith’s move to Bondi.

    After the poorly timed podcast that had Smith announce to the world that he was heading to the Roosters before he even told the Storm, followed by an average 2022 season from the Kiwi international including a suspension for being naughty to a referee, the Tricolours coach will be hoping all of the trouble was worth it.

    Wests Tigers

    Tim Sheens wants Doc Brown’s DeLorean

    He is desperate to go Back to the Future. The last time the Tigers took out the title, Sheens was at the helm while Benji Marshall and Robbie Farrah were carving it up on the field.

    The three are set to unite once more, this time all sitting in the coach’s box. Sheens will be hoping for some of that 2005 magic in 2023.

    This is brilliant! Wests Tigers’ bench reaction to THAT Benji Marshall flick pass in the 2005 #NRL Grand Final ????

    — The Tryline ???? (@TrylineUK) September 25, 2020

    The Dolphins

    Wayne Bennett wants a telescope so he can finally find a star for his club

    Hoooo! That one is just a bit of fun.

    Watch The Dolphins win the bloody premiership next season!

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