Rhys’s Pieces Together A Good Game For Once

Yesterday, Rhys Hoskins went 2-for-4, 3 RBIs with his 26th and 27th homer, hitting .241. Talk about a guy in a deep, danky funk who looks like he put a message on the Jumbotron announcing his retirement in July and all the fans were like, “That’s weird, I thought he said he was retiring but he’s out there playing, am I thinking of someone else?” Then rather than answer, one of the other Phillies fans vomited on the 1st fan and they laughed about it later. Digging into Hoskins’s numbers they are vom on the surface, but you can get some corn kernels of truth out of them that you might find nourishing. His splits are nauseating between 1st and 2nd half, but that’s a whatever goalpost. My biggest concern for him is he’s not driving balls. His average homer distance is 385 feet (awful), his average exit velocity is 89.3 MPH (mediocre), and his launch angle is easily highest in major leagues for qualifying players. Essentially, he’s hitting a ton of 365 foot outs, Don’t think that’s his destiny though, or density if George McFly is reading. For 2020, he just needs to get more aggressive (stop walking so much), trust his own power and drive the ball. Podcaster Ralph and I talk about him on the pod, that’s coming later today, and we both agree:  We’re gonna be all-in on him next year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Drew Smyly – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 6.65. You’re the devil!  Wryly Smyly, “Nope, it’s 6.65.”

Scott Kingery – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer, hitting near-.350 in the last week. Kingery looks like he’s starting to come out of the post-All-Star break staleness funk he was in for a few weeks. Kingery stay King!

Bryce Harper – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 30th homer, hitting .257. One homer for every $10 million! Woohoo!

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Aristides Aquino – 2-for-4 and his 15th homer, hitting .313. The GGOATOAT’s 162-game pace is 77 homers. That seems low. Let’s go, GGOATOAT!

Anthony DeSclafani – 7 IP, 4 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.10. Across a lot of my leagues, I have a better WHIP than my ERA would indicate, so I looked at 2018 ERAs and WHIPs vs. this year, and infer what you want, but I think it’s obvious:  2018 MLB ERA/WHIP: 4.14/1.30 — 2019: 4.52/1.34.

Kyle Tucker – 0-for-1 as he pinch-hit after being called up. Pop that cork! “Sláinte!” Oops, that’s Cork, Ireland. Here’s what I said yesterday about September callups, “As MLB teams raise a 40 of St. Ides, the Patron Saint of Pitcher Changes, looks on. Whether it’s Kevin Cron, Jon Duplantier, Brusdar Graterol, Pat Valaika, Travis Jankowski, Taylor Ward, Jake Jewell, Cole Irvin, Chris Shaw, Pablo Sandoval (!), Ryan Zimmerman (!!), Gorkys Hernandez (!!!), Braden Bishop (?), Manny Bañuelos (aka Many Bathrooms) and Yitz Youngstein. Okay, I made up the last name, but you had no idea. Unless it’s Kyle Tucker, Gavin Lux and maybe a select few, there’s not a ton these guys going to do much in the final month. My advice is to see who is actually in a starting lineup or pitching and then maybe show slight interest. September baseball is mostly won with guys like Kevin Pillar vs. Kevin Cron.” And that’s me quoting me! As for Tucker specifically, A.J. Hinch said he has to earn playing time. Hinch should check out his minor league numbers.

Gerrit Cole – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 14 Ks, ERA at 2.81. *looks at Verlander’s no-hitter line, looks back at Cole’s line* Damn, Cole stinks!

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Yordan Alvarez – 1-for-4 and his 22nd homer, hitting .317. Also, in this game, Yasmani Grandal (1-for-3, hitting .247) hit his 22nd homer. Alvarez hit his in 240 ABs and Yasmani did it in 430 ABs.

Adrian Houser – 4 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.45. I like Houser, but you have to be a mental patient with giant pants marbles to start him vs. the Astros.

Christian Yelich – 1-for-5 and his 43rd homer. His 9th inning homer to tie the game wasn’t enough for the Brewers so I don’t know if he’s really MVP material.

Mark Trumbo – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs as he was activated from the 60-day IL. He missed the first five months of the season. More like Mark Bumbo! Giancarlo played in a whole nine more games!

Ryan Mountcastle – Will not be called up this year. Hahahahahaha–Breathe, Grey, breathe! Oh my God, the O’s are stupid. He was ready to be called up in June. Get him some major league at-bats, you idiots! Oh, wait, they have to get Mark Trumbo at-bats. Who knows what they have with him. Ow! I just got an eye-roll headache.

Hanser Alberto – 2-for-5 and his 11th homer, and hitting near-.500 in the last week with a five-hit game propping that up a little, but still — sound the alarms — hot schmotato alert!

Tyler Glasnow – Could return by the end of this week as a reliever, which is totally going to save your entire fantasy team. The IL’d pitcher stashes pay off about as much as a Powerball lottery ticket, yeah or nah? I’m going yeah.

Ryan Yarbrough –  6 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.49. Since he doesn’t walk anyone, if Yarbrough gives up runs, it’s likely going to be bad luck, and yesterday was a prime example of that. He feels like one of those guys who will be so underrated in 2020 drafts next year. Stand by for the winter of Yarbrough love.

Austin Meadows – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 25th homer. Meadows rankings: Audrey, Jayne, Austin, and Meadow’s taste in boyfriends on The Sopranos.

Kenta Maeda – Sent to the bullpen for the rest of the year. The Dodgers said they’d start Julio Urias and they Maeda promise. I didn’t grab Urias, but he seems like a decent bet in good matchups, which today’s appears to be.

Trevor Story – 2-for-4, 2 runs as he hit leadoff, and his 2nd career leadoff homer with his first coming three days ago. Why is Bud Black hitting Story leadoff? Haha, you’re thinking about this from a logical standpoint, aren’t you? Oh, silly, you.

Nolan Arenado – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 36th homer.  This is a claim ticket for my woobie that’s been at the laundromat since I was in 3rd grade. I can’t believe I found it *holding back tears* It means…everything. Here, let me loosely disregard it by this open window–NOOOOO!!! Torenado!

Joc Pederson – 3-for-3, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 29th and 30th homer, but left the game after crashing into the right field wall. This is how it looked: He either was hurt real bad or not at all, but grazed his testicles and stayed down on the ground like Rod Tidwell.

Matt Beaty – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and a slam (8) and legs (4), hitting .293.  I’m sorry, sir, I am a vegetarian and can’t eat your Batt Meaty.

Chris Taylor – 3-for-5 and his 10th and 11th homer. I’d love to say I made Batt Meaty a batty call just for the s’s and g’s, but instead I grabbed Taylor and that worked out a-okay.

Corey Seager – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 13th homer. Corey hit that homer just to get his mom off his back about what Kyle’s been doing.

Cody Bellinger – 1-for-2 and his 44th homer, hitting .311. So, who’s getting to 55 homers? Bellinger? Yelich? Trout? Tommy La Stella?

Jeff McNeil – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer, hitting .322. Looks like McNeil’s out of his whole three-game slump. Things get magnified this time of year, but we should all try to practice more patience, which is not me giving you approval to start your cover band, Guns N Poseurs.

J.D. Davis – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, hitting .301. Fun fact!  His name in an echoey cave is Jonathan Jonathan Davis Davis Davis Davis.

Noah Syndergaard – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.97. Kinda interesting in seeing where Syndergaard ranks next year. After being way out on him this year due to his price tag, I could be back in if his price comes back to a reality a little bit.

Joe Ross – 3 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 6.17. Whew, I strongly considered Ross as a streamer, but the Streamonator had him as one of the worst starts yesterday, so I avoided at the last minute. Thank you, our Robot Overlords!

Mike Minor – 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.12. I know this means nothing for our purposes, or porpoises if dolphins have taken over the world by the time you’re reading, but Minor is leading the American League in WAR. We should’ve seen Minor’s start yesterday in Yankee Stadium coming too:  His road ERA is 2.67 in 101 1/3 IP; his home ERA is 3.70 in 80 1/3 IP.

Delino DeShields – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer. *looking at the cargo trailer of a 18-wheeler truck* If we’re gonna transport all of these “posts” for the front of this “hype” on DeShields, we’re gonna need more room.

Shin-Soo Choo – 2-for-5 and his 21st homer. I don’t want to say Choo is going to get hit by lightning before hitting any more homers, but I also wouldn’t walk too close to him.

Masahiro Tanaka – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.42. I streamed Tanaka in my RCL and was happy to get out relatively unscathed, and dropped him almost as soon as I was able.

Aaron Civale – 5 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.94. As a person who streamed Civale yesterday, that was about as touch and go as starts come. Or I should say, hit and run, as in they were hitting him and I’m running away.

Carlos Santana – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 32nd homer.  Homer como vay!

Eduardo Escobar – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 33rd homer. He feels like a guy who people will accidentally draft next year instead of Eugenio Suarez. Don’t let yourself be that fool.

Ketel Marte – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 29th homer. Can I just say all Diamondbacks will be overrated in 2020 and call it a day?

Josh Rojas – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer, hits in five straight games (one hit each prior to yesterday) and a home run four games ago and, okay, I love Rojas — I even gave you a Josh Rojas fantasy — but he’s in the Tucker/Lux school of thinking. If Rojas is hitting, then great, but he has been inexplicably benched vs. lefties.

Ty France – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer, and 3rd homer in two games.  Hot schmotato alert!

Adam Wainwright – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 1 K, ERA at 4.30. Streamonator was actually positive on Wainwright’s start yesterday for what might’ve been the 1st time in three years. I, however, don’t trust Wainwright and wouldn’t start him anywhere. Also, if you ever start a sentence in the real world with “I, however,” someone has the right to punch you in the mouth.

Mauricio Dubon – 2-for-3 and his 1st homer. I went after Dubon in my NL-Only leagues pretty fiercely when he first came up. You can click his name and search the site for my thoughts on him. I had a small Duboner. But the Giants are in that camp of terrible teams, who don’t know what they’re doing with prospects. Dubon really needs to be hitting 8th? Joe Panik, with his .631 OPS and 3 HRs and 4 SBs and .311 OBP, hit more leadoff than any other slot in the lineup (176 ABs). It’s really that bad to give Dubon some decent, top-of-the-order at-bats?

Ehire Adrianza – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer. Not saying the Twins should pay closer attention to their LinkedIn account, but Adrianza was a good Ehire.

Jake Odorizzi – 5 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.61 vs. Jordan Zimmerman – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 6.03. This matchup was billed as, “Don’t forget to pause, otherwise it’s a run-on sentence of Odorizzimmerman.”

Miguel Cabrera – 2-for-4 and his 10th homer. On his home trot, Miguel Cabrera was clocked at “two bathroom breaks.”

Randal Grichuk – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 24th homer. Grichuk has never homered one day to not homer the next day to not not homer the day after, so if you’re looking for a one day pick-up, here’s a guy.

Josh Donaldson – 1-for-2, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 34th homer. Since I never liked Donaldson, it’s hard for me to take a victory lap on Donaldson, especially since his knees will give out.

Johan Camargo – 1-for-1, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer.  Do you mean, 2020 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper Johan Camargo?! Kidding, I won’t subject you to that (at least unlikely). I do like him a lot more than what is warranted.

Mike Soroka – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.53. Next year Soroka’s gonna have a 7.50 ERA to make up for this year. It’s gonna be so insane how unlucky he is next year to make up for this. At this point, whether you own him or not, you better be rooting for him now, and in the playoffs, so more people are fooled by him next year.

Justus Sheffield – 5 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 5.51. Checked the Streamonator for his next matchup, saw the @HOU and started chanting, “No Justus for Grey,” as I marched around my house with a picket sign that read the same.

Yu Darvish – Tentatively scheduled to make his next start on Saturday in Milwaukee. There’s a long shadow being cast over him, due to his forearm soreness. Guess that’s why they call it foreshadowing.

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