Tyson Fury will bring his magical, mythical, invisible heavyweight title back to Vegas this Saturday in another “warm up” against a softball fringe-contending Euro-import.

At T-Mobile Arena, “conquering America” while playing to a relative handful of fans deep inside the ESPN+ subscription-only streaming app, the “Gypsy King” will defend his “lineal” heavyweight championship against Swedish meatball Otto Wallin. The bout will put the +1300 underdog, Wallin, in position to walk the path traveled by legendary figures like Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier, and Rocky Marciano—well, not really because, as we all should know by now, the whole “lineal champ” thing is a bunch of BS. 

At any rate, fans WILL get a chance to see the ESPN+ crew sell the hell out of Fury, talking up the big Irishman’s “electrifying of American fans” inside of a likely two-thirds empty arena, just like they did for Fury’s ESPN+ debut against Tom Schwarz this past June.

To his credit, Fury did what a main stage fighter should do to a fighter like Schwarz—blow him away early and spectacularly. Not to his credit, though, was the fact that he actually fought someone like Schwarz in the first place, just six months after battling WBC champ Deontay Wilder to a draw that many saw as a Fury win. Going from Wilder to Schwarz in six months is like a race car driver moving on from a win at the Indianapolis 500 to a win at a go cart race. 

But Fury is Fury and, as is usually the case, he’s talking up a storm, even in the lead-up to a drizzle of a mismatch. Recently, he’s had a bad word to say regarding just about every other heavyweight out there.

On Deontay Wilder (who he’s reportedly scheduled to face in a rematch early next year):

“Deontay ‘Bronze Bollocks’ Wilder is a dosser and he knows he is,” Fury told CBS Sports. “I see all that stuff about how he wants me to step aside. Step aside to what? He’s terrified of the Gypsy King. He couldn’t beat the Gypsy King when I had three years out of the ring on alcohol and drugs. How the f**k is he going to beat the Gypsy King now that I’ve been training for two years. Come on!”

On three-belt champ Andy Ruiz Jr.:

“He can take it how he wants the little fat f***ker…So if he wants a slap too he can have one too,” Fury told Behind the Gloves.

“Andy Ruiz – you want a slap too you can have one and all, because I’m not bothered about you fat-so…I’ll hit him about the body and make him spew marshmallows for a month.

On former three-belt champ Anthony Joshua:

“People are not interested in beaten fighters,” Fury told TMZ Sports. “That’s what we saw with AJ versus Ruiz…He was this big great thing made out of marble. Then he got beaten and then he got knocked out by a fat guy. Everyone’s like, ‘This guy who’s ripped got knocked out by this little fat guy.’ And now, nobody likes him anymore. The bubble has been burst. It’s the cliché of the world: When you’ve been pounded, nobody wants to know because everybody loves a winner. And, when you’re no longer a winner, you don’t get no more p***y!”

On heavyweight newcomer and former four-belt cruiserweight champ Oleksandr Usyk:

“I don’t think much about [Usyk], to be honest. He never enters the brain waves. Never. He’s not someone I’d rather think about, to be honest…I could probably beat Usyk with one arm tied behind my back and I’ll let you pick which one you want me to fight with, left or right. Either way it would be goodnight.”

Of course, all of this rings hollow when the big talk about heavyweight elite comes during fight week to face someone generously ranked no. 46 in the world by Boxrec.

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